Chocolate Covered Chocolate Cookies

So I made you some cookies.

Sometimes a girl needs chocolate - lots of chocolate. And cookies. This is the truth. I made the cookies for me but plan on sharing the simply brilliant recipe with you and sending the rest off to some of my favorite people.

Some times my brain hurts, it gets tired and needs fuel, I usually try to reach for some almonds or some green tea but today I reached for the cookies. First the batter, then an unfrosted cookie, some melted chocolate, then the final product. My brain needed chocolate cookie fuel, not health food.

It has been a long time since I have worked. Worked at a real job, one that gives you W-2's and that sort of thing. Time just seems to be slipping away. I have a sweet little life in which I do the things I love on a regular basis. I have my routines and it works, until it doesn't. At this point I usually make cookies for breakfast. Normal right?

Sometimes life throws sticks in my spokes and I crash. It is cool because I am learning how to properly crash, shake it off and get right back up, pedaling at full speed.

What do I have to show for all my time off? A new found love of writing, lots of time with the dog, bike rides, hikes, new recipes, books read.... good stuff. I haven't gone on any magnificent trips, learned how to salsa dance or took classes on photography or cooking or this self defense class that I have to take to fight back. Am I wasting my precious time or am I just truly being me? Am I getting soft?

It is one of those days, the point of rapture, I come up from my little bubble floating on a cloud and ask what it is exactly that I am doing. What do I have to show for myself?

Where is the line? At what point do we throw out our everything that we previously held to be true and try something totally different. Well, I am not a drastic person and this will never happen, so what do I change? I suddenly and slightly overwhelmingly feeling that I am going in the right direction but not at the right speed. The direction is nice, soft, pleasant and easy. I am one for things that make me feel good and satisfied, my life is wonderful right now but how could it be better?

Am I pushing myself to the fullest potential?

Do I just have the baby fever?

What do I do?

Here is the cookie recipe because now I probably made your brain hurt too.

It is Friday, have fun, eat a cookie or two, have a glass of champagne, be in love with something and someone, figure out my life, then lets talk.

Chocolate Covered Chocolate Cookies

Inspired by Joy the Baker

The dough needs to be chilled for at least 2 hours. This is science. It tastes better and is much easier to work with. I put mine in the fridge for 48 hours. The taste is spot on, between 2 and 48 hours will work. I formed the first batch into a log and sliced off disks. I would totally recommend rolling this dough out nice and thin (1/4 inch) and use a cutter of your choice.


1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon molasses
1 large egg

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flours, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder.  Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fit with a paddle attachment, beat together butter, molasses and sugars until combined. Add the egg.  Beat on medium speed until mixture is fluffy, about 2 to 3 minutes. Whip it, Whip it good!

Stop mixer and add the dry ingredients all at once.  Mix on low speed until all of the flour is incorporated, do not over mix.

Scrape the batter into a large Ziploc bag. Close the bag, leaving a, inch opening, smash the dough flat until it fills the bag. Seal the bag and chill in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

Once chilled, cut the bag off the dough, forming two flat rectangles. Place one half on a lightly floured surface. Roll the dough to a 1/4-inch thickness.  Use a cookie cutter to cut out cookies and place dough on prepared baking sheet. 

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.  Remove from the oven, allow to rest on the baking sheet for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

Melt chocolate in microwave until smooth, drizzle over cookies. Allow chocolate to harden before storing. Lick the chocolate spoon and cup clean.

Cookies will last, in an airtight container at room temperature, for up to five days.

Big Blue Skies

I like climbing, cowboys, curly hair.

I know I dress frumpy, have been known to smell funky and have a tendency to fart.

 My husband is a hell of a hunk, he is my heart throb.

I like country music and think clouds and cows are photogenic.

I know everything is going to be okay when I see big blue skies, bake bread and ride my bike(s).

I can drink more wine than reasonable on a regular basis, I love lifting weights, and I know a group of women is a very powerful force. Weight lifting, wine drinking women....wow!

There was a point when I could run for ten hours straight, now I cannot stop reading all things related to food. I rely on a faithful husband, a ridiculous cat and realize that our dog will not be with us forever.

We went to Vantage, WA and rock climbed yesterday. We were both gimp but enjoyed an entire day outside in the sun doing something we love.

Happy weekend!

XOXOX

LadyStiles

A matter of time

I am totally okay with not working, unemployment has benefits. I have zillions of hobbies and passions to fill my day. I get up early, I have a routine, I take care of myself and make sure that I get dressed every day. These are some of the things that people warned me about when I was recently (actually not so recently) laid off. I never would of imagine that four months into unemployment I would still be sending out my resume to potential leads. Jobs are lame but I like to get my hair done, buy new dishes, drink good coffee and bling out my bike. These are things that you can do with a job, I have a sweet little sugar daddy right now, no need to shed a tear.... it is just not the time to have time.

I have been keeping track of every location I have applied to, the list is too long to admit. What is the deal? Really, am I ever going to find a job? I have a college education, I am not creepy, I am pleasant to be around most of the time....

Maybe someone is just waiting right around the corner, sees my potential and wants to write a book with me. An apprentice sort of thing. RIGHT? I thought so too.

I have been lucky enough to have an incredibly supportive husband that has been patient while we relocated and I find an illusive decent job. He puts on a happy face after a long day and makes an effort to take me out. I try to understand what he feels like working long days in the middle of the desert, cleaning up nuclear waste (he avoids the field, we want to have kids in the next couple of years). In all honesty, if I were raising our children, had some high paying stay at home job, or was going to school, or writing my book that is going to make me famous all this house time could be justified. At the end of the day he is tired and over worked and I am like a puppy that has a bunch of energy. We make do, I get unemployment benefits. Now is just not the time to have too much time.

I told my massage therapist that J got a job and is on reactor fuel recovery and she said he was doing the Lord's work. I laughed. The comment still makes me laugh, I don't think she really thought about that one before it slipped out. Or maybe she did, I didn't get into it, this is the location where they built the atomic bomb. I don't really enjoy such heavy debates. He is doing it for us. That is a big deal.

While looking for a job I have had a couple months to do a little soul searching, and I have found some pleasant things. I have fell in love with my blog, escaped and found comfort in writing, relaxed, fall increasingly in love with my husband, our dog relies on me, and I left my home town (big deal folks!) and made the time to go back and spend time with the people that I really care about and found that people care about me as well.

Life is never a simple story. There are high times and there are mine fields. Strikes and gutters.

I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. 
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. 
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
-Audrey Hepburn

The Storm

Perched on a hillside, on the edge of a forest, looking down upon a valley in the lush foothills of a magnificent mountain sits the house I grew up in. During the winter there are storms that rip through this town which is tucked next to a mountain range to the east and the west is the sea. The winter storms that rip through the heart of the Pacific northwest pack a punch and blow through the seemingly quiet county without reprieve. Howling winds rip through tall trees, these northeastern winds are forces to be reckoned with. The winter winds come from a dark barren landscape to the north bringing with them an intensity that try the mightiest of creatures from the grand cedar trees to the flannel wearing rednecks.

There is only so much wind those sturdy cedar trees that canvas the the few acres around our house can with stand. When the gusts start to wail, the trees begin to moan and sway, bending in the wind. Trees are limber and have evolved give when the forces bear down. They take the blows that puts their strength and elasticity to the true test of resolution. Of course, some trees break under the pressure. They crash with horrible commotion. It sounds raw, boisterous and roaring with bruit power. Come springtime every year we would make huge piles of fallen trees to burn, cleaning up after the usual storms.


There is a limit to the strain an object can endure. Seemingly strong, stoic creatures of the earth fall victim to forces beyond their power.

At the end of the storm, there is always damage, minor or catastrophic. Loss and destruction. The wreckage must be assessed and ravage accounted for then cleared before the long dark next winter winds sweep through.

As a child, I never could sleep through these wind storms, I would lay awake in my bed listening to the windows resist the gusts, straining, moaning and the trees, the trees screeching as the moved with the forces of the northeast winds. Now that I am hundreds of miles away, surround by sagebrush and tumbleweed with not a tree in sight, I get a little uneasy when the winds start to growl. I wait for the talking trees, for the trees to contend to the wind and each sound their battle cries.

The only storms I feel now are the winds raging in my soul and the storms brewing in the ones of who I deeply care for. I see their trouble and feel my inner turmoil. I can not ward off the forceful blows trying to knock down the spirit. There will always be storms, some times they are large and leave a massive path of destruction. These are the storms that keep me up late at night, listening to the winds and trying to find comforting thoughts in the commotions. I feel small and powerless against these dark winters and cloudy world in which we live.

We are fragile. The human spirit can compromise and adjust but there is a limit to the endurance of all creatures. We can bend in the wind but we need to understand when the breaking point is coming, and unlike the storms that blow through the long dark winter months, storms battle continuously at our hearts and souls. A tree could not stand alone and survive a storm, neither can the human soul, there is strength in numbers and security in the forest.

I often find myself trying to be that lone tree, trying to stand on my own. When the winds blow, I have no protection or buffer from the elements. Trees can grow, relationships can build and communities can rebuild. Be part of each others forest, be part of my forest and I will try my hardest to be a part of yours.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new end.

Maria Robinson