Time to Choose

When I’m nervous, I laugh.

When I’m tired, I struggle to form sentences.

When I’m hungry, I'm grumpy.

When I’m sad, I want to hide away.

When I'm stressed, my shoulders meet my ears and my neck hides.

When I'm happy, you will know.

Happiness is my favorite emotion, right next to love.

Emotions are as necessary as water to well being but just as hazardous when flooded by such. Conditions change. Happiness is fleeting but at the end you must choose to be happy. Choose your emotions, reactions, demeanor. 

Learn from those around you, choose to be happy.

You are in control of yourself, your emotions, your reactions. Choose wisely, with intent.

No matter how far you have gone down the wrong path, turn back.

Slow like Snail

Slow. Snail slow. Snail mail slow.

Sometimes waiting is the hardest part. Waiting in traffic, waiting for the coffee to percolate, waiting for vacation, waiting for a life changing email, waiting for the next big adventure. Things move slow and are often beyond the reach of control. Control is comforting. I am by no stretch of the imagination a control freak but I do have a hard time being patient.

There is just so many great things in the works right now in our lives. I can hardly contain myself with excitement. Our hopper is full and we are about to crack it wide open.  Our future is increadibley promising and as much as I would like to move on I need to realize and embrace the fact that I am here in the desert now with free time that I need to utilize to the fullest. I need to make myself a better person today to ensure that tomorrow is just as great. I need to get our present ducks in a row to make life simplier in the coming months.

In life there is always room for improvement, forward movement with every experience, growth with every mistake. Life is not perfect, there is a wrinkle in every plan, there is a hole in every dam, there is a crack in well used armor. I like to think of this as the human element, life. At the end of the day, when the head hits the pillow and soft bed holds my weight, the weight that I have carried with me the entire day all I want to know is that I tried hard at what ever I engaged in with the few precious hours I was gifted that day.

 

Life doesn't always go as planned. If you take a successful business as an example, they are successful for two reasons. These two reasons can be applied to the business of living, the day to day activities that fill our hour. Success thrives with a plan. A goal is a healthy means to create more ambition that often gets sucked by the mundane tasks that fill our time. Have a plan. Have a plan that is open and encourages change. Stick with me, a plan is wonderful and incredibly useful but plan for that plan to change. Nothing goes as planned. There is growth and learning, accidents and failures, the human element. Accept change and adapt your plan accordingly. Be open to change. With these two ideas working together, leading a meaningful life is just that much easier.

 

Personally I need a plan or else I get too excited about one particular thing that I often miss the forest for the tree. I need a plan to create focus in my life that seems to be lacking cohesiveness and direction. I am a work in progress, my plan is a work in progress and I am accepting the changes that are occurring. 

Creating Stories - Negroni - LOVE

This is not a Valentines story. I want to be very clear about this. I am extremely loved and taken care of on a daily basis. I want to keep it that way.

This, my friends, is a story about love, friendship, courtship and a long caring relationship that creates countless stories.

Oh yeah and a love potion - a cocktail  recipe like no other.

This is our anniversary.

The proximity to Valentines Day, was unintentional. Our wedding was in the middle of a road trip, on a Mexican beach, barefoot, with family surrounding us. It was simple, it was perfect. We were living out of "Goldie" the van, climbing and biking our way across North America with our trusty side kick of a dog.  His ring was purchased from a sweet little Mexican street vendor and my beautifully simple dress was found at a beach shop in a perfect little beach town.  It was love not fuss. It was a party, not once was it stressful. It was beautiful and I watched J cry and knew this is for real. 

These past few years have been amazing, full and meaningful. These past few years we have created wonderfully wild stories that we will tell our kids and then grandchildren. These stories will explain why we most likely will limp, have creaky joints, numerous scares and sun spots. Our bookshelves will be lined with first edition climbing guides and pictures of forest, oceans and trails. With relatively few married years that we have together our stories are deep and rich and I look forward to many more that lay ahead of us.  I have a new sparkly ring that sits next to the one given to me on the beach.  It signifies where we started and where we are going.

Love for me comes in the form of a red bearded, Irish Pop Eye, southern gentleman who can do ANYTHING.  I am inspired by his zest for the outdoors and his natural yearning to play outside. I try to keep up and I learn so much in the process. Our lives together has made me a better person and naturally a better athlete. He has learned patience because I like to move like a sloth while he darts around like a hummingbird. We work it out.

Our adventures, love, future plans that include more wild adventures are the things that make our lives meaningful together. We don't let things gather dust, continue to make exciting plans, and weekly dates as we battle through hardships and challenges but come out on top at the end of the day (or at least by the end of the week). We talk about having little ones some day.

Our love comes in the form of longing gazes across a crowded room, a passing kiss while moving about the house, faith and trust in each other and space to be ourselves.

We are a team.

We have it all. We have each other.

This is my love potion served as a small sip to start an evening.

Start with Campari, the bottle is sexy enough alone being Italian and all, a perfect ingredient for a love potion. Campari is considered bitters, which is a refreshingly simple infusion of fruits and herbs that is deep red in color. Campari is then mixed with gin and sweet vermouth at which point you get a Negroni, love potion. The Negroni is considered an apéritif, a pre-dinner cocktail intended to stimulate the appetite and/or love.

Nigroni

makes one cocktail


One part Gin
One part sweet vermouth
One part Campri

orange peel garnish
Combine ingredients in an iced filled shaker, shake until well chilled and strain into you favorite cocktail glass. Garnish with an orange peel.

Go ahead and be stimulated for whatever comes your way and have a wonderful evening!

Shared with the Monthly Mingle hosted by Paulchen's Foodblog

Chocolate Covered Chocolate Cookies

So I made you some cookies.

Sometimes a girl needs chocolate - lots of chocolate. And cookies. This is the truth. I made the cookies for me but plan on sharing the simply brilliant recipe with you and sending the rest off to some of my favorite people.

Some times my brain hurts, it gets tired and needs fuel, I usually try to reach for some almonds or some green tea but today I reached for the cookies. First the batter, then an unfrosted cookie, some melted chocolate, then the final product. My brain needed chocolate cookie fuel, not health food.

It has been a long time since I have worked. Worked at a real job, one that gives you W-2's and that sort of thing. Time just seems to be slipping away. I have a sweet little life in which I do the things I love on a regular basis. I have my routines and it works, until it doesn't. At this point I usually make cookies for breakfast. Normal right?

Sometimes life throws sticks in my spokes and I crash. It is cool because I am learning how to properly crash, shake it off and get right back up, pedaling at full speed.

What do I have to show for all my time off? A new found love of writing, lots of time with the dog, bike rides, hikes, new recipes, books read.... good stuff. I haven't gone on any magnificent trips, learned how to salsa dance or took classes on photography or cooking or this self defense class that I have to take to fight back. Am I wasting my precious time or am I just truly being me? Am I getting soft?

It is one of those days, the point of rapture, I come up from my little bubble floating on a cloud and ask what it is exactly that I am doing. What do I have to show for myself?

Where is the line? At what point do we throw out our everything that we previously held to be true and try something totally different. Well, I am not a drastic person and this will never happen, so what do I change? I suddenly and slightly overwhelmingly feeling that I am going in the right direction but not at the right speed. The direction is nice, soft, pleasant and easy. I am one for things that make me feel good and satisfied, my life is wonderful right now but how could it be better?

Am I pushing myself to the fullest potential?

Do I just have the baby fever?

What do I do?

Here is the cookie recipe because now I probably made your brain hurt too.

It is Friday, have fun, eat a cookie or two, have a glass of champagne, be in love with something and someone, figure out my life, then lets talk.

Chocolate Covered Chocolate Cookies

Inspired by Joy the Baker

The dough needs to be chilled for at least 2 hours. This is science. It tastes better and is much easier to work with. I put mine in the fridge for 48 hours. The taste is spot on, between 2 and 48 hours will work. I formed the first batch into a log and sliced off disks. I would totally recommend rolling this dough out nice and thin (1/4 inch) and use a cutter of your choice.


1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon molasses
1 large egg

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flours, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder.  Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fit with a paddle attachment, beat together butter, molasses and sugars until combined. Add the egg.  Beat on medium speed until mixture is fluffy, about 2 to 3 minutes. Whip it, Whip it good!

Stop mixer and add the dry ingredients all at once.  Mix on low speed until all of the flour is incorporated, do not over mix.

Scrape the batter into a large Ziploc bag. Close the bag, leaving a, inch opening, smash the dough flat until it fills the bag. Seal the bag and chill in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

Once chilled, cut the bag off the dough, forming two flat rectangles. Place one half on a lightly floured surface. Roll the dough to a 1/4-inch thickness.  Use a cookie cutter to cut out cookies and place dough on prepared baking sheet. 

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.  Remove from the oven, allow to rest on the baking sheet for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.

Melt chocolate in microwave until smooth, drizzle over cookies. Allow chocolate to harden before storing. Lick the chocolate spoon and cup clean.

Cookies will last, in an airtight container at room temperature, for up to five days.

What you are COLD?

I have this bumper sticker on my fridge that says nice weather is for wimps - right next to my favorite picture in the entire world in my very favorite spot in the entire norther hemisphere that I have been to, also taken by one of my closest friends. This picture is a fixture in my life.

The picture represents everything healthy and positive in life.

CBS, my sister-in-law gave us the bumper sticker, it bears the county in which she lives. South Park County, CO. For real. A town in which I will probably never live in, they get snow in September, not that cool in  my book. The picture was taken on a birthday trip for my sweet friend B, we all went to Squamish, B.C. and spent they day playing on rocks. Back in the day when Squamish was still small enough, before the winter Olympics ravaged Whistler.

This is not a story about Squamish, I will save that rant.

This story's setting is east of the Cascades, a place where they hoard the sun from those west of the Cascades. For arguments sake, Washington is not the wettest state, I found the sunshine while still residing in the Evergreen State, needless to say, I gave up the whole evergreen tree thing.

I got up this morning with the greatest of intentions, a bike ride in the mentioned abundance of sunshine. If I am going to try and ride 200 miles in a day this summer I better get on my bike, according to my ubber athlete friend Steve, who has done it in a day and my squeeze (he would have to comfort the tears if I had to suffer two days). Well, this is what I thought as I peeled open a book and sipped on coffee this morning.

A bike ride, huh... sip sip sip.

*door bell*

Fully decked out in my riding clothes I received a package from the cute little UPS delivery man. I love packages and the UPS man. He shivered as I signed the little hand held something or other. I saw white pillows as he exhaled. I was going to go ride my bike, I had my proper attire on. He must just be a wimp.... I have a race to train for and there is blue sky - what is so bad!?!

I made it exactly 19 minutes.... total.  I turned around at 10 minutes - which means I was in a hurry to get home. I was freezing -it was the sunniest day I have seen in the last week, hence the urgency of a bike ride but I was cold, freezing, pulling out of our parking lot. What ever happened to my better judgement in dressing myself with the pile of winter weather clothes that I just hauled from Bellingham?

I pulled a huge U-turn, mid road, and pointed to home with the intent of putting on 15 more layers and making the most of the entire day. I got home and needed more clothes, hot tea with caffeine, then a snack, 19 minutes of riding on a flat desert road  might have burned all of 5 calories and I was hungry. Geez, I had breakfast like 1.5 hours ago. I had lunch, then polished off the bag of tortilla chips and fell asleep on the floor - in my bike clothes. I had a spare tube in my back pocket that made sleeping on my back a problem, so I laid on the floor face down. Thank goodness J didn't pop in, there I lay, asleep on the floor, face down, kitchen a mess, bike in the entrance. It happens every now and again.

I woke, rested and ready to - um - go experience the richness of the Tri Cities by wine tasting in warm little estate vineyard tasting rooms not ride my bike. I went to the kitchen for the 100th time that day for a little after nap snack. I might not need to ride my bike because I could consider the trips to my kitchen a work out in its self.

Then I saw it - that damn bumper sticker, reminding me that weather cannot run my life. Then I thought about a recent conversation about the total bliss of being outside and playing, that I had with a new friend, then I thought about an old friend and that at one time I decided to take another woman up on the offer to climb Mount Stewart in a day. I thought of sleeping with my feet in a back pack while laying on a climbing rope for insulation because a day was, well, a day.

I was afraid of a cold road bike ride - really?

I put on those extra layers and put my bike back on the pavement and rode off into the daylight.

For goodness sake, "nice weather is for hairspray and careful shoes."

May you always have blue skies in your minds eye.

Can you spot my open mouth breathing and big ears? B's squint? Bry's attentive glaze? Sam's easy attitude? J's amazing biceps?  I love these people.

Head Above the Sand

True story coming at you.

I was really excited to follow through with some potential jobs this morning until I realized they were all scams involving identity theft.

So I added twice as much chocolate to my coffee as I usually do this morning thing that would help perk me up. Then skipped the gym. Neither of those choices helped. I also poured maple syrup all over my oats, maple syrup and oats creates a smile on my face and was a legitimate attempt at satisfaction. I thought I had dripped some sticky syrup on the table as I surfed the internet for the elusive career. I wiped it up with a classy finger to the mouth move. GAG! This was not fresh Vermont maple syrup, it was some substance strewn on the table that J used to fix his bike with yesterday. It was nice knowing you, my stomach is probably rotting right now.

Most days I could just shake this nonsense and not eat the entire pot of oats that I had intended to last the week. The problem is that we got rid our mattress yesterday - then went to buy another one. The store I wanted to get the futon from didn't have a queen size. We went home and ordered it online. I like to get lots of sleep. So does J. We didn't sleep last night.

Our mattress doesn't come for 15 days.

After the lack of planning in our replacement bed, we were thinking ahead we blew up our trusty air mattress before we went to drank beer, eat cheese filled bacon wrapped peppers and crab dip while watching football. We came home tired, I drank too much wine all weekend and felt like I could sleep for a good 15 hours, gingerly nestled on to the air mattress and fought falling asleep for 15 seconds. I was in a far away land of gum drops and sugar plums when I suddenly felt the wooden slats of our bed frame holding my body all of 15 minutes later. PppppSSSSsssssTTtttttt. Air mattress minus the air. J ran to the couch and curled up on the floor. Enough said.

We live in the desert - there are bizarre and freak windstorms. Strong windstorms. There was a windstorm last night that kept me awake while I tried to sleep on the floor. I caught up on at least six This American Life  episodes all night while cuddling with Natasha in her bed.

Up Next:

Crab Stuffed Mushrooms

Whole Wheat Molasses Bread: simple things

You are just going to have to trust me on this one or trust Joy because she is cool like that. You probably are going to want to make this bread. I am going to have to make a second batch. It is a cinch to mix up, it is easy on he tummy with a few simple ingredients, forms a sturdy loaf the can be sliced, smeared with butter without crumbling to the floor with the dog thinking that food apparently falls from the sky. I wish baked goods fell from the sky. Dogs are lucky that way.

 

The subtle flavor of the sweet molasses, the crunch of the cornmeal between the teeth and the nutty full bodied whole wheat flour all comes together with some buttermilk. No one else around me can vouch for me for the flavor factor or the superior texture of the loaf. Not a soul. The dog didn't even get a nibble, I ate even the crumbs.  The loaf lasted about two days... because I had restraint. By the second day, gone. Single handedly. Now I shared the dark secrets of my life, we can move on.

I ate the entire thing. All by my self, that never happens. But it was a flavor that reminds me of an old friend, easy, adaptable and knows how to make me feel good. Speaking of old friends, I spent the weekend with a dear friend, barging into her house, plopping on the couch and putting it into park. It has been years, times change, we both have grown older, but our relationship still holds a very close place in my heart.

Some things are easy, simple and satisfying. Some things are worth keeping, like this recipe, the loaf pan that the bread is made in which is one of the only things I have from my grandma, my old friend but if you happen to figure anything else out and send me a note, like where I can find a decent job.

Whole Wheat Molasses Bread

makes one 8×4 or 9×5-inch loaf

recipe from the Joy the Baker and New York Times

1 2/3 cups buttermilk or plain yogurt

2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup cornmeal

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup molasses

Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat oven to 325 degrees F.  Grease and flour an 8×4 or 9×5-inch loaf pan.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, salt and baking soda.

In a small bowl stir together buttermilk or yogurt and molasses.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and fold to combine.  The batter will be slightly thick, but not dry.  Spoon batter into prepared pan and place in the oven.  

Bake loaf for 45 minutes to an hour.  Depending on how evenly your oven bakes, you might want to rotate the loaf in the middle of baking.  

When a skewer inserted in the center of the loaf comes out clean, remove the loaf from the oven and allow to cool for 20 minutes in the loaf pan.  Run a knife along the sides of the pan and carefully invert onto a wire rack.

Loaf will keep, well wrapped at room temperature for up to 4 days.

Consider it play

I have made a resolution not make New Year's resolutions. It was a little odd at first, for years I have made big strides to change numerous aspects of my life. I mean who doesn't want a new better self, a fresh start, and a few lofty pie in the sky targets?

 I need goals. We all need objectives. I do not need more guilt and neither do you.

We do not need more remorse in our lives. Big, unattainable resolutions most likely will set you up for disaster and yet another round of regret. No one needs more guilt in their lives. The stuff -shame- simply is not healthy. We want to be healthy and happy!

Small steps, little changes, habit forming hobbies that are easy to integrate into our daily lives make us healthier and happier people will be sustainable over the long term. Baby steps will keep that pesky voice coming from your shoulder riddling you with guilt because you did not wake up and completely change your life.

In order for a healthy habit to form it must be some what pleasurable, integrate a task that we already do or even better a little of both. Find things that you enjoy doing. I love going to the neighborhood park to take pictures. Instead of driving there I walk. By design, I live close to my gym so I will either walk there or ride my bike, by the time I get there I am warmed up and ready to get to work. We all travel to places near and far, the destinations that are within three miles are easily walkable where as in the vicinity of five miles bikes are extremely efficient.

Getting outside my car by walking or riding my bike more is what my goal this year. I live in town so it is easier, if you live in a less accessible area try walking to get the paper at the end of the driveway once you park the car. My husband has a really busy work week that leaves virtually no time for exercise. A couple days a week he makes the time to walk to the car pool lot which is a mile away. His walk in the morning and evening is a trip that he already makes but by walking is able to squeeze a little bit more out of the trip that in a car. It may seem really small but the twenty minutes here and there all add up. Small attainable changes lead to healthy life long habits.

Go ahead make a few resolutions but save yourself the pain, make them goals you can and will attain. Shape the goals to fit your life and not you to fit the goals.

Here are a few other recent posts that I cover how important health is and planning.