Tuesday, May 03, 2011

What if I am

What if I am not good enough?

What if I am.

Will I ever be liked?

What if I am.

Can I pull my act together?

What if I am.
Ducks in a row
I have been spinning my wheels, pondering thousands of thoughts, wanting to say something beautiful and positive. I want to share light and love. I promised happier words, but in all reality instead of getting better things got worse. Doubt. All I have are questions and incomplete sentences. Serious questions and heavy emotions. It seems as if Spring cleaning just whipped through my soul, stirring up some problems I tucked away. It hurts.

It is hard. Hearts break. The human spirit is extremely fragile.

In terms of lessons learned, sometimes I am too quick to respond emotionally to a challenge or hardship. Now I try, not always successfully, to take a long, deep breath before dealing with a potentially devastating situation. Overall, I remind myself of the fact that life, is by definition full of stress and things you can’t control and to try not to sweat every bump in the road quite as hard.

Take a deep breath, continue to work hard, and it will all pay off in the end.

I feel hopeless but I know that things will change. I am not giving in or giving up. I know because I am going to make them change, I am going to make my life work for me. Yes. I. Can. I am going to work hard as hell to turn this ship around and head to a sunny beach.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes the best "spring cleaning" we can do, is ourselves. Sound like you are scrubbing hard, the shine will come.