"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
– Michael Jordan
– Michael Jordan
My house may smell sweetly of freshly baked cakes and pies but that as far as the sweetness goes sometimes. A few bad days of mine turned into weeks and now months have passed. I just scrapped cake batter off the oven floor and my head pounds from sugar. It happens. I am not sure where my mood started to go haywire or when it will end but that is the truth and the truth hurts. Deep daggers.
When life isn't as easy as we imagine, it is easy to let the burdens pile up. The negativity feeds upon its self, creating a need for more and more. A simple task can be tedious and bothersome without a positive attitude. My new job has been a healthy step in challenging my inner creativity, resolve and accountability. I enjoy most aspects of the bakery and the idea that I am helping preserve a craft. Like with anything I question what I am doing, thoughts career paths, monetary burdens and perception cloud the fact that I enjoy what I am doing. At the end of the day, I am the one that has to fall asleep with the choices I have made. It is my battle.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill
But is piles up. It is just not as easy as it seems it should be. Insecurity. It just piles up. This notion of doubt is poisonous. I doubt one thing and then I start to question my ability to love and be loved, to maintain loyal friendships and my ability in general. This has to stop.
Letting go, freeing my mind of the heavy clouds that linger in the dark corners is the light at the end of the tunnel. I am striving to do good work, in my career, in my marriage, in my friendships. I want to hold up my end, as hard as it is sometimes and however bad at it I sometimes am guilty of.
In the mean time, I will be busy baking cakes, making pies and carrying on doing the things I enjoy and finding satisfaction in the things that I must do. These are a few photos of some pies I made for a friend, eight total, something I am very proud of executing with confidence.